“God will never give you more than you can handle.” “You’re such a strong person.” “Keep your chin up and everything will work out.”
In the past 2 weeks my husband and I have been told these things repeatedly. Not only is the phrase, “God will never give you more than you can handle”, not biblical, it is also devastating for someone who does indeed have more than they can handle. When a person you met 30 seconds prior, tells you your child has cancer, it will in fact, be more than you can handle. When you repeatedly have to hold down your screaming child while they poke him, it will be more than you can handle. When your child goes into surgery and you return to an empty, deafeningly silent hospital room, it will be more than you can handle. When they hand you a 3″ binder full of information on your child’s cancer, it will be too much. When your child wakes at night in pain and there is nothing you can do about it, your heart will break. When they tell you your child will not make it through the next 12 weeks without at least one blood transfusion you will feel the walls crushing you.
I am not strong. Piles of laundry have brought me to tears. I wake each day just thinking of the next step because that is all I can bear. Cancer is too big, too much, but driving to the hospital I can handle. Then walking into the hospital. Having his port accessed. Step by step until we get to the end of the day. And taking it step by step, I still sob when I go to the bathroom.
I won’t even address the third comment. Because everything might not work out and that thought alone IS more than I can handle.
God never said that we wouldn’t have more than we could handle. He did promise to walk with us and help us carry the load. I carry the next step, He carries cancer. Sometimes this brings me comfort and if I am being honest, sometimes it doesn’t. But I am clinging to that promise right now. I am weak, He is strong. I can’t handle cancer, but He can. Nothing, not even cancer, can separate us from His love.